I am Purple-American

From the "Things That Keep Me Awake at Night" series:

Here is what I don't understand.  Well, one of the many things I don't understand.  Who came up with our people "classification" system?  You know, the boxes we fill out on doctor's forms or scholarship forms.  The choices are Native American, Pacific-Islander, Asian, White/Non-Hispanic, and Black.  But how did we decide that the supposed "color" of someone's skin equivalent to their continent of origin?  And why is it only this way for "black" and "white" people?  I use quote marks because we lump all people from Africa into the black category even though people who hail from continents other than Africa can have darker skin and aren't called black.  And what about people who were born and raised in Africa who have white skin?  Are they African?  Why does the term African-American automatically conjure images of black people?  And what do they call black people in England?  African-English?  Or black?  And why is white linked with non-Hispanic?  Why don't I get to choose Irish-American, Scottish-American, or English-American?  And what about people of Asian heritage who were born and raised in the United States?  They are American.  Right?  Or are they Asian-American?  See what I mean?  Why do "black" people have to be called African-American?  Why aren't they just American?  Either everyone is hyphenated, or nobody is hyphenated.  Either everyone is labeled by color, or nobody is labeled by color.  Therefore, I have decided to be Purple-American.  Why?  Because purple is my favorite color, I was born in America, and this label makes as much sense as calling someone with brown skin black or someone who was born in Toledo, Asian. 

I guess my point is, why does it matter?  Why do we need those questions?  Sure, certain diseases affect people of specific origins (for example, sickle-cell), but couldn't that be listed on an "Other Pertinent Information" section?  Why is it that people are assumed "white" in articles and are only described when they are otherwise?  You never hear "The victim, a 33-year-old white woman..." but you do hear, "The suspect, a 21-year-old black male..."  Again, either everyone is described, or nobody is described, and we are described the same way.  We could just randomly assign colors:

Asian-American could be green
European-American could be pink
African-American could be purple
South American-American could be red
Australian-American could be brown
North American-American (eh!) could be orange
Antarctican-American could be blue, because they are probably really cold

 Why don't we just all go with the country where we were born? I'm American.  Or, we can go with a huge list. I'm American with Irish, Scottish, and English ancestry, but since I am a Christian I believe that we really all originated in Africa soooo...I'm African.   Wait, I'm African-American, right?   But I'm white, so I can't be African-American...can I? 

Yes, I know I am wandering into the realm of ridiculousness but am I anymore ridiculous than a "classification" system that thinks describing someone by the color of their skin or their country of origin explains who they really are?